Surprised By My Own Capacity

While I wasn’t prepared for the challenges I’d experience in early motherhood, I also wasn’t prepared for how much I would grow. I wasn’t prepared for the extent to which my own capacity would increase. I wasn’t prepared for how my own selfishness would shrink or what I’d be capable of enduring; that I could be submerged in the depths of personal hell and yet still extend myself to care for another human being. I wasn’t prepared for the deep strength I’d find in the darkest spaces. I learned I can survive more than I think I can. I learned I’m loved and supported more than I previously understood. I learned there are more resources available to me than I realized, even if I don’t always notice or see them.